In life, we are often presented with lessons through less than ideal circumstances. Mine was trying to love the wrong people. In doing so, I learned a vast quantity of life lessons from some of the most painful experiences. But what I learned didn’t always make the heartache easier right away–nor did the lessons present themselves immediately. More often than not it took a while to sift through the pain, to let it go before it flitted to the surface.
In this series I want to further explore what I’ve documented in my book Unrequited: Things I Learned from trying to Love the Wrong People. Why? Because it’s important. Because aspects of heartache, abuse, and relationships are still considered taboo. Social stigmas say we’re not allowed to discuss our heartbreak for too long, that our abuse isn’t as bad as this or that, and that we should accept invalidation as apart of our story. I say no more. It’s time that this aspect of heartache ends. I hope that you will join me in what this series will revel in: the triumph in overcoming the beliefs we form about ourselves in the midst of heartbreak.
Warning Signs of Abuse
3. Believe it or not, at the start of what you now label a terrible relationship, there were warning signs. Often times they’re easy to miss. They’re subtle because covert types of abuse don’t flat out come out and state: “Hey, some shit’s about to go down.” Instead, they reel us in, they captivate us.
Most warning signs such as love-bombing are what initially attracts us to a partner who really isn’t good for us. Everything seems lovely. The beginning of a life together seems picture perfect because that’s the point. A partner who is emotionally abusive wants you to believe that it will always stay good.
But one day the rug will be pulled out from underneath you, making you crave every bit of love and affection that’s not there now. It feels detrimental. Once it’s gone it’s gone and the unfortunate games begin. Which is why it’s important to educate yourself on the warning signs–what to look for so that this doesn’t happen to you again.
Love-bombing: an attempt to influence a person by demonstrations of attention and affection.
You can purchase a copy of my book Unrequited on amazon by clicking here.