In life, we are often presented with lessons through less than ideal circumstances. Mine was trying to love the wrong people. In doing so, I learned a vast quantity of life lessons from some of the most painful experiences. But what I learned didn’t always make the heartache easier right away–nor did the lessons present themselves immediately. More often than not it took a while to sift through the pain, to let it go before it flitted to the surface.
In this series I want to further explore what I’ve documented in my book Unrequited: Things I Learned from trying to Love the Wrong People. Why? Because it’s important. Because aspects of heartache, abuse, and relationships are still considered taboo.
From Heartache to Triumph
Social stigmas say we’re not allowed to discuss our heartbreak for too long, that our abuse isn’t as bad as this or that, and that we should accept invalidation as apart of our story. I say no more. It’s time that this aspect of heartache ends. I hope that you will join me in what this series will revel in: the triumph in overcoming the beliefs we form about ourselves in the midst of heartbreak.
Recently someone said that this statement implies that a narcissist can or will actually change. Unfortunately, even though stating a consequence is really the first time a narcissist will authentically hear your point of view, it won’t actually change them. They only hear your side of things for the first time because if, for example, you leave then they lose their sick supply of emotional abuse.
For a brief period of time they might appear to change or might even look like they’re attempting to take the steps necessary to change, but unfortunately it isn’t authentic. A malignant narcissist will not change. Appearing to do so, however, is just a ploy to keep you sucked into their mind games.
The best thing you can do, if it is safe to do so, is actually leave. A narcissist won’t change for you. Your love won’t be strong enough to break their curse. This doesn’t define your worth, but rather their sick personalities.
You can purchase a copy of my book Unrequited on amazon by clicking here.