The Good

Self-fulfilling Prophecies: Expectation vs. Reality


Everything stems from our need to always be in control.

When we feel like we can’t control what’s happening in our own lives, we not only choose to “let go” of what we are having difficulty with but also transfer that energy into trying to control others.

If we only allow something or someone to get under our skin deep enough to make us feel good, just stick around for good times, that’s not love or growth, that’s a hobby.

We are self-fulfilling prophecies; walking in circles wondering why we don’t get anywhere. We are doubly cursed: first with the aptitude to fix ourselves and secondly with the inherent lack of that very knowledge. The mere fact that we judge others and try to “educate” others more than ourselves is the reason why we think we can solve their problems but not our own.

You know what’s rare? When someone actually comes to the conclusion that they have no control.


The concept of Self-Love is one that can either strengthen our ability to receive for the sake of sharing or ultimately give power to the selfish instincts and desires that limit us to receiving for the self-alone.

You’re probably thinking: what the heck is this woman talking about? Well, if you continue reading I’ll tell you 😉

The difference between our desire to receive for the sake of sharing versus our desire to receive for the self-alone all comes down to our perception.

Perception is everything. When we see something we don’t like or are around a person that challenges us, we automatically think that by avoiding seeing or being around this person that the challenge will go away right? Guess again! That challenge in the form of a person or a situation is going to follow us around until we can choose to look at it from a different angle and find a way to make the lesson behind the challenge, beautiful.

Perception, like art; is not about seeing what’s obviously shown, rather it’s about admiring and ultimately capturing what’s beautifully hidden.

Most people think they’re showing themselves Self-Love by solely focusing on themselves — on their own happiness. People are now constantly putting themselves above everyone else because they think that by isolating themselves from others, it will in return create a more peaceful environment for them to enjoy.

What people who do this don’t understand is that when you place yourself somewhere where only you can receive, never give, you starve yourself from true unconditional love and hinder your own personal growth — the real SELF-LOVE. When you aim to only surround yourself with people who are going to build you up, you’ll get to the top and look around wondering why you’re still not happy with your life — why challenges still exist.

Tongues that flatter are designed to deceive; it’s the people with their hearts in their mouths that tell you what you didn’t want to hear that you need to keep closest.

When a person truly desires to make the effort to love themselves — they must do so in a place where things won’t always go their way and where others will challenge them. Putting yourself in the mindset of being a better person than someone who may not always agree with you or trying to avoid “negative people or situations” as a means to preserve your own “peace,” won’t make you a stronger person; in fact, it will only weaken you.

In contradiction, love grows in strength. In confrontation, love is preserved.

The next time you want to practice Self-Love, find a place within yourself where you can practice humility and positive confrontation — a place where your desire to receive for the sake of sharing thrives and defeats your desire to receive for the self-alone. You won’t always win and you can’t always lose but you will always learn.

Love & Light,


Rachel Wolchin Profile


Rachel. Los Angeles. I convert thoughts into tangible forms and share them with other people to trace over with their eyes and their minds; sparking the possibility that they’ll feel something stir inside of places they didn’t know existed. ~Linger here a moment, you might see something worth saving.~

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