Life is experienced, not read about.
I am no longer afraid of the idea of 'scaring someone off' with my flaws. What is meant for me will stay.
If one wanted to depict the whole thing graphically, every episode, with its climax, would require a three-dimensional, or, rather, no model: every experience is unrepeatable. What makes lovemaking and reading resemble each other most is that within both of them times and spaces open, different from measurable time and space.
We have to learn to utilize our negative experiences and make them stepping stones towards a wiser version of ourselves, rather than a loss.