Being in constant self-evaluation allows you to keep track of when you're doing too much. This is the easiest way to slowly welcome peace.
It's like stabbing someone and telling them not to bleed when you silence a black person speaking out on their trauma.
Don't focus on trying to be 'the best'. Focus on being irreplaceable.
If you want to make it easy for undeserving people to reap the benefits of your magic, that's your own. Continue living in disappointment.