Instead of wasting hella time pretending to be 'unphased by it all', I'd much rather let the feelings fuel me to continue living colorfully.
If you want to absolve yourself of guilt, all you have to tell yourself is 'they deserved it'. This is literally how racism works.
Don't focus on trying to be 'the best'. Focus on being irreplaceable.
A woman who empowers you, inspires you, and encourages you to do better, is a goddess. Finding that kind of magic is rare. Don't lose it.