In romance and relationships I’m not afraid to admit I’m a hopeless romantic. In a way I often flash-forward. Is this what I want? Can I see myself with this person? These are important questions and the answers lie in the details.
I often find myself hanging on every word. Unless the person is just completely drab, I usually want to hear everything that they’re saying. Because somewhere in their words is something important. When you pay attention to the details, you notice things. Like the fact that they might enjoy doing the New York Times crossword puzzle. Or the fact that they’re not a dog person (on to the next one to be honest). But you also learn things. Something as simple as a favorite song could very well turn into something more.
But within the details you begin to notice an entire world that is not your own unfold. You’re able to notice what might often go unnoticed because too often we don’t really pay attention to everything around us. But when it comes to dating and romance, I do.
I find that in the details lies the answers to the questions I posed in the beginning of this article. Can I see myself with this person? It’s an important question. In fact, it’s the question. I find myself not only listening, but often trying to pay attention to as much as I can. How do they treat the waiter? What, if anything, makes their eyes light up. Kindness and passion are important to me. I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t have both.
There’s more than answers in the details. There’s opportunity. Inside each word, every action, you begin to piece together who this person standing in front of you is. Within those pieces are opportunities to give. Because if you’re really paying attention to the details you begin to notice their world, if you fit in it, and what you can do for them that no one before you ever has. It’s not about giving for the sake of giving, but giving from the heart. When you notice the details, when you really pay attention, you usually know. And from what I’ve heard time and time again, when you know… you just know.